Buckle up folks, because we've got some cyber madness to unpack this month. First up on the docket: the granddaddy of all HTTP DDoS attacks, hitting the internet like a digital tsunami. Clocking in at a whopping 71 million requests per second, this attack had Cloudflare – the stalwart defender of web infrastructure – dubbing it "hyper volumetric." It's like a digital hurricane, with requests swirling at speeds that would make even the speediest internet connections break a sweat. And if you thought that was wild, just wait – this attack blew its predecessor out of the water by a staggering 46 million requests. Talk about raising the bar for cyber chaos.

But wait, there's more – the Tor network, that beloved bastion of online anonymity, has been under siege by a barrage of DoS attacks over the past seven months. These attacks have left users struggling to load pages or access onion services, casting a shadow over the normally resilient network. The Tor team is scratching their heads, unable to pinpoint the culprits or their motives. Who would have thought that the onion network would become the battleground for cyber warfare? It's like something out of a cyberpunk novel.

And speaking of cyber shenanigans, Lockbit – the ransomware gang with a penchant for chaos – has been stirring up trouble yet again. This time, their sights are set on none other than the Royal Mail, the crown jewel of the United Kingdom's postal service. With a ransom demand starting at a cool 65 million pounds, Lockbit seemed to think they hit the jackpot. But even after some haggling, they graciously lowered their price to a mere 33 million. Clearly, the Royal Mail hasn't been selling enough stamps this year to entertain such a generous offer. It's a digital heist fit for a cyber blockbuster – but let's hope the Royal Mail can deliver a swift response and put an end to Lockbit's postal plundering.

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